Truth or Dare?

If Someone dared you to tell the absolute truth,
Life or death...
[You'd die if you lied]
could you?
...
Life's like a game of Truth or Dare,
and definetly a game of passion.
...

Truth is, I don't know if I could.
On the threat of death, okay yeah.
I'd tell,
But there are somethings about me that I don't ever want anyone to know.
Just because I know they'd judge me.
And I'm too afraid of other people's judgment
to really be myself.

Well, the new me vows to tell the truth.
To be myself, no matter what anyone thinks.
Because my opinion of myself is way more important then
anyone else's opinion of me.
In the true aspect of everything,
what other people think of me is bullshit.
Because no one has traveled my path,
walked in my shoes.
It's been a hard road,
and in my situation, how can anyone say what's wrong or right...
Because there's no telling what they would have done in
this situation.

Been here?
No?
Then you don't know what it's like.
You can't even begin to understand.
It's been a hard road.
I've been beaten down,
[physical and emotionally]
for most of my life.

21 years of hard knocks.

It changes you in a way
that's unexplainable.

Two kids later,
and I'm still trying to find a way to forget.
To let go of what's happened and embrace the future...
But sometimes it's hard.
Trying to shake off the bad influences of my parents...
Don't get me wrong,
My mother is my idol.
She was the best mom a girl could have growing up...
But her and my father made mistakes.
One's I don't intend to make with my own kids.
Period.

♥

FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE.

Wedding vows:
promises a couple makes to each other during a wedding ceremony.
Okay, and I think in the movies
i've heard "for better, for worse"
plenty of times.
So what does it really mean?

To me, that's probably the most meaningful part of
the speech.
What I've been through with my other
just in the past year and a half..
"For Worse"...
I guess the struggle has changed me...
But I guess not enough..

Because he got mad when i asked,
if it might be better to break up
for awhile,
Til both of us got our shit together...
When ever we talk about
what we need to fix in our
lives..
He talks like i'm the only one with changing to do..
Well...
I think we both have growing up
to do.
I had a baby at 18,
and another at 20.
I wasn't even done growing up yet.
And he definitely wasn't ready when I blew into his life with my peanut,
[after 4 years of having no contact with each other]
and then kinda forced another baby,
when he didn't want any children.
[LMAO!]
But he knew what he was getting into.
[shrug]
it is what it is.
They're here now,
and we need to get our shit together for these kids!
And lately, i've been thinking that
it might be easier if we took a little time apart.
I still love him with all my ♥,
but maybe it would be good for us.
But the part of me that's still a little girl,
is almost too scared to do it
for fear that he'll "cheat" on me
while we're "not together".
So it's a conflict...
[sigh]
there's always a conflict lately.

Sleepy...
Been blazin all day...
[LOL]
=]-~

ACCEPTED.

So, we got accepted into the shelter that I tried.
[sigh.]
Honestly, I don't know weather to be happy or sad!
I mean don't get me wrong,
it's a good thing...Because it could help us get housing...
But at the same time,
I gotta leave my rock.
My boo... What will i do without him around?
It just makes me a little sad...
We go through our ups and downs..
But when it's mattered, he's always been there.
=[
Plus, the whole "shelter" thing irks me a bit,
because I've been there, done that once already!
It's hard living with strangers
and all the rules are ridiculous!!
But I guess they have to be that way,
otherwise, people would just run wild and take advantage
of the help...
So Monday is the day.
and away we go.
At least we get away from the motel!
=]
But this stills kinda sucks..
I'll have to be in at 7:00pm every night...
That includes valentines day, and possibly my birthday =/
Well...
I guess I gotta do, what I gotta do.

*For these children.♥

FED UP.

i am so through!
I mean sometimes you love someone with all your heart,
But deep down you know, [they're bad for you.]
And I guess the only thing to do after that is leave. And move on.
Sometimes it's so hard, because you can't see yourself without that person.
You're comfortable with that person, and starting over is too much work!
Why start over when you have a person you know, and are soo familiar with, and can almost predict.
But sometimes leaving is the best thing.
When you're tired, and fed up with all the BULLSHiT!
The lies, the secrets, the bitches constantly hating and calling, trying to get with someone who you consider to be yours.
It just becomes too much.
They're never pleased with you,
no matter what you do.
They come home and find something to bitch about. Even though you spent your whole day
making sure everything was done, everything was perfect.

Well, There comes a point where everyone gets tired.
The point when you've had enough.
You get tired of it always being something.
Tired of being yelled at.
Tired of hearing "you stupid bitch".
Tired of it never being enough.
Well maybe you just don't have anymore to give...
Maybe you're tired of giving it ALL,
and reciving nothing in return...

R. Kelly told ya'll what happens when a woman's fed up...

There's nothing you can do about it.