Heartless.

So my significant other issues me an ultimatum.
He says i must choose.
Either "my family"
[meaning my mother(whom he does not like) my 2 little sisters&my little brother]
Or "our family"
[meaning himself and my children]
.
How can he tell me I have to choose?
My family has always been on the top of my list as far as
the most important things in my life, and things I am always loyal to.

Family always comes first.

I've been like that my whole life.
I've fucked up alot of things,
but never My Family.
and God.
The only two things that have always been good.
[sigh]
Now i must choose which one to be more loyal to??
What exactly does that mean,
coming from someone I love.
Someone who's opinion I hold
in high regard?

WTF...?

Choose one or Lose the other...

Not a question,
a statement..
a truth.
He meant it!

i had to go smoke some trees after that last part.
Then i came straight to you, faithful reader...

My heart is hurting,
Beacause i am so torn...
Who ever to choose,
I feel like i lose.

He says because they never call,
it's been a few months,
they don't care.
He says he cares, the children care.
we love you.
we need you.

i say, my mother is my heart.
She's always been there, i say
just because she had to go dosen't make her wrong.
I was fucked up,
not her.
It's not her fault i was dragging the family down.

He says she's wrong for not letting me come home after i got pregnant
with my firstborn.
She should never have left you with your father.
She knew what was going on and she left you there.
He says, my sisters and brother aren't at fault,
but my sister never calls either.
And your father, he says,
don't even get me started on him.

Well, what he says is mostly true...
Well i guess all true.
But i love my mother, and my sisters, my brother.
Very, very much.
But she dosen't call me much, my sister either..
but that's just how their personalities are,
they've been that way my whole life.
Don't talk on the phone much,
always so involved with their own projects
that they spend alot of time away from other people.
And, my mother is still struggling to raise the three remaining children after i left home.
That's hard for a single mother,
especially in today's economy.
She's a busy woman
and i respect that because i am too.
People always get mad because i hardly ever answer my phone.
[with the exception of a few people.]
My sister is a teenager and anyone who is older then
20, and reading this,
you know what i mean.
Teenagers are moody, self centered creatures.
lol.

i thought this argument was dead,
i should've known it would come back.
And i should've seen this coming.
My tarot cards predicted something like this,
and i should know by now that they really don't lie.


What am i too do...?
♥