Just Can't Take Anymore.

We're struggling,
it's hard.
Very hard to handle,
it sucks,
at times it dosen't seem worth it.

i Know.
I've felt those things,
as well, and wanted to quit.
But i won't.
I won't give up because i've come too far
to turn back now.
I've been through too fuckin much
to give up on this life.
I've been down too many times before,
i'm not going back down now.
I refuse.
And though i love you with all my heart...
if you continue to drag me down,

i will leave you behind.
***

I'm sick and tired,
of forgiving and forgetting.
I've made this known for some time now,
[ya digg?]
I'm trying to hold on tight,
to stay down,
standing strong by your side,
but..
you're wearing me down.
How can i have any strength left to deal with the
world,
when i use it all up dealing with
you.

I've complained before,
told you how i feel,
screamed at you,
STOP!
Before you make me hate you..
but it seems my warnings went unheeded,
and
it's time for me to go.

My head knows,
it keeps saying
"Nikki, let's go. There's nothing more we can do.
Your smarter then this, deserve better then this."

My heart can't seem to understand.
it keeps saying
"If we leave, then what?
nothing.
Alone.
What if he never comes around again?"

I just don't care anymore.
i can do it alone.
Hell, i pretty much do it alone now.
i take care of my kids,
i go to school.
i just need a job.
Point is, i could handle it
alone.

Maybe that's the way it should be.
[digg that.]
-♥